Sunday, January 24, 2010

Will to Win (Part 3)

3. TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE: The starting point to success is being responsible for the quality of your own life. Responsibility means the ability to respond rather than feel victimized…most people when their life’s not working, feel victimized. When I talk to people, I find most will have a VICTIM story…it’s not their fault, somebody is doing it to them…and if you would think this through, there are no victims, but rather just volunteer’s.

The healthy assumption that healthy people make of their life is that they…are responsible for the quality of their life. Responsibility does not mean guilt it just means that consciously or unconsciously I place myself in a situation…but I have the power to change that, but in order to change I must realize that I was responsible for creating it from the start, and great care must be taken not to repeat the same mistakes. This is sort of like complaining about the same lunch everyday to a fellow office worker, and he remarks “Why don’t you have your wife make something else for you”…you answer, “I can’t, I make my own lunch…I’m not married”…We make our own lunch people and the sooner we come to that conclusion, the further along the road to success that we will be.

Sometimes the victim story in our lives comes from ignorance…no one wants to be sick or doesn’t want their relationship to work or doesn’t want to have any money or doesn’t want their business to succeed, if that is happening in your life. then somewhere along your line, you’ve made a decision to experience that…maybe you thought you need it, maybe your punishing yourself out of guilt, we all have a tremendous amount of guilt in our life…maybe you think that’s all you can have or maybe your afraid of success.

I have found over the years that more people are afraid to succeed then to fail. If you ask, most people will tell you the one thing they fear the most is to FAIL…but in actuality the fear of success will be what bothers most people, because when you are a success you can’t be a child anymore, because you will have to be responsible for your life. You’ll get more support in failure than you will in success…when your life doesn’t work, people will crowd around you, like puppies on a cold night and you’ll all get together and tell your victim stories about how it’s not going your way and they’ll say, “yeah, my life’s not working either” and that makes you right in your thinking. This ends up with a big bunch of losers gathering to share their failures…very counter productive way to go through your productive years.

The bad thing that happens is when your life is working…these same people will resent you. They resent you because if you are moving forward, their moving back and their going to resent you for your success…and this is something that you will need to accept in order to attain the success you want.

In order to have anything in life, we must first make it OK to have it before we go after it. You must make it OK inside of yourself first, in order to succeed you have to know that you deserve it and truly want it. Many people on an unconscious level feel that they don’t deserve to succeed and to this end, some will go into the ‘self destruct’ mode and this creates what they feel is a balance in life. You must see yourself as being successful, go for it and keep on the track and know that it is OK for you to be this successful and to ‘have it all’.

If you don’t have what you want in life, you are in for profound ‘despair and you can lie about it and say it doesn’t matter and joke about it, but it really does matter and each one of us wants something and until we get that…we’re going to feel that something is missing in our lives. We must look within ourselves for the answers and until we do…we keep looking outside of ourselves for the answer and it ain’t there kids.

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